Are you lost in your life? Relax!

I'm at a crossroads in my life. My personal life, my work life, my health life, my social life. And being at a crossroads is just a nice face-saving way of saying I'm lost. Normally, I'm pretty wrecked by being lost. I feel like a failure. I feel like everybody else is finding their way, why aren't I? And I feel like I should be doing more, so much more. But then I came to realize that being lost is no sin. No, absolutely not. And not only was it foolish to hide from myself the fact that I was lost. It could be the absolute best thing to acknowledge, accept and admit that I was.

Ever hear the saying: 'You can't leave a place you've never been'? Well, if you're lost in your life and yet refuse to accept it, you can't move on from there.

Listen to this quote from Vernon Howard's The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power:

When you do not know what to do, you have no responsibility to do anything, except to be aware that you are lost. Do not do anything but that. Do not permit nervous anxiety to drive you to futile exterior activities. You are not shirking rightful responsibility when you refrain like this; you are wisely avoiding the consequences of muddled action. Clarity, clarity, clarity; our first duty is to think clearly. Make it your rule to understand things, which you can surely do. Then, your action will be right.

If that's not music to your ears I don't know what would be. (It was to mine.)

No matter what is in your life right now it is part of the plan. And that includes being lost.

So you're lost. Yeah, it's not fun, but it's not bad either. It's just where you're at right now. You'll soon be un-lost. So accept being lost. Maybe even enjoy it. Explore it. It's just one more life situation you've encountered, and it may be a time in your life where you're being prepared for better things to come. And being lost may be necessary for you to get to those better things.

So relax! Being lost ain't so bad when you see it in the proper perspective. In fact, it may even be a good thing.

The Magic of Jumping

A friend got me thinking the other day. He told me what it was like for him when he jumped out of an airplane at 10,000 feet. When he got done, I asked him what the scariest part of it was. He said, "Well, jumping."

The plummeting through the air at breakneck speed toward earth wasn't as scary as jumping out the door.

Think of all the ways you can move. Walk, run, crawl, stroll, sprint, etc. But how does nature move?

Nature moves in jumps. "Quantum leaps" to be specific. When the time is right the movement is not by drifting, blending, plodding or easing into; it's by jumping.

Even the kids' game of Leap Frog. That's where the term leapfrogging comes from. Here's the dictionary definition from infoplease.com

an advance from one place, position, or situation to another without progressing through all or any of the places or stages in between

Think about it. You can move yourself from place to place in a host of ways, but sometimes (imagine going from one rooftop to another) you just have to jump.

But the thing is you can jump even when you don't have to. I heard a preacher once talking about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane as he agonized before the crucifixion. Jesus talked about drinking the cup of what awaited him (the crucifixion). The preacher generalized from there telling us, 'When you have something difficult to do, when you have a bitter cup to drink, don't sip it. Drink it straight down.'

Another way of saying: jump.

Dag Hammarskjold, the former Secretary-General of the United Nations, wrote in his book Markings:

You told yourself you would accept the decision of fate. But you lost your nerve when you discovered what this would require of you: then you realized how attached you still were to the world which has made you what you were, but which you would now have to leave behind. It felt like an amputation, a "little death," and you even listened to those voices which insinuated that you were deceiving yourself out of ambition. You will have to give up everything. Why, then, weep at this little death? Take it to you—quickly—with a smile die this death, and become free to go further.

Isn't that what it's like (a "little death") when you're facing something terrible. I mean, you really don't want to go through it at all. But you have to, so like he said, 'take it to you—quickly.' In other words, jump.

Jumping is where the magic is. It's nature's way. It's our way. Jumping minimizes suffering. It moves you down the road faster.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote:

Power ceases in the instant of repose; it resides in the moment of transition from a past to a new state, in the shooting of the gulf, in the darting to the aim.

Make it easy on yourself. Get ahead faster. Yes, jumping is hard, but once you do, the rest is easy and the benefits are great.

What do you want to be remembered for?

What matters isn't being applauded when you arrive—for that is common—but being missed when you leave.—Baltasar Gracian

Newspaper columnist David Brooks wrote a book called The Road to Character. In it he talks about the difference between 'resume virtues' vs. 'eulogy virtues.' In other words, what are people going to say about you when you're gone?

People won't comment on your business prowess or your bank account. Nobody is going to say how good-looking or clever you were. But they will talk about the decency you had and the kindness you showed others. 

It's hard to think about eulogy virtues while we're here. Life is tough. It's a scramble to survive.

But this life is going to end.

Not to be morbid but yeah, it's going to end. Then when it does, what do you want to be remembered for?

Billy Casper, one of the greatest golfers of all time, winner of the U.S. Open and Masters, was interviewed shortly before his death in February 2015. Reading the article you got the feeling that the interviewer was so impressed with Casper's golfing career, and when he asked what Casper wanted to be remembered for, he suggested this golfing feat or that great golfing victory. But Casper surprised.

He said he didn't want to be remembered for any of that. He wanted to be remembered for being a lover of humanity.

So what do you want to be remembered for? If you can figure that out now, you can live in a way that brings that desire to pass.

Is endurance the secret to success?

I have only to endure. I am here to be worked upon.

          —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever feel like a punching bag? That life is just one blow after another? Can it be that we're the victims of some sadistic higher power that is continually punishing us, torturing us?

I admit that sometimes that's the way it feels, but I think there's something far deeper occurring. I think, like Emerson said, something is working on us. Something is shifting, shaping, changing us into more than we were. And hence our job is just to endure. To ride out the changes to get to the other side of the trials.

But yes, you have to break through to get the benefits. Consider this from Chin-Ning Chu's Thick Face, Black Heart.

...the true nature of crisis is an opportunity in disguise....It is within the process of endurance that opportunity reveals itself. Opportunity always exists within a crisis situation, but when we lose heart in a devastating crisis, we are blinded by our own emotion. When we can calmly endure the unendurable, the opportunity for a better alternative surfaces and reveals itself.

Think of when a parent loses a child. The natural temptation would be to blank out, to deaden (perhaps through alcohol or depression) being conscious. The pain is just too great. But if a person in such a terrible situation can somehow stay conscious through all that pain they often come out as utterly remarkable people. As the saying goes: 'Pain can make us bitter or better.'

Look at the life of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. As a young politician many thought him smug and overbearing. A pain in the butt really. Then at thirty-nine he suffered polio and its accompanying paralysis. For years he tried to regain use of his legs.

Years later, when he was president, someone enquired how he managed to stay so patient facing the incredible pressure of the presidency and he said:

After trying for two years to wiggle one big toe, all else seems easy.

So, are times tough? Just hang in there. You don't have to conquer them to win through to the reward. You only have to endure.

Are you improving your soul?

I'm utterly convinced that our soul is totally different than the rest of us. In other words, the state of our soul is not in any way shape or form dependent on our looks, our social status, our worldly success or bank accounts.

I think it's important to work on improving the condition of my soul. The condition my soul is in is the best indicator of where I'm at in life.

And yet, improving the soul is so easy to overlook. Entertainment and its endless diversions are everywhere. Why do the hard grunt work improving the soul demands when you can veg out in front of the TV or computer (something I'm drawn to doing)?

And don't you just have a sense when a person's soul is right? Like, they may not have a lot of worldly success but they are at peace. They have integrity in their life. They value what matters most.

Working to develop the world's success is so much easier than working to improve the soul. But hey, the world's success is going to be stripped from you someday for sure, while the soul's success will accompany you throughout eternity.

Can shocks be a good thing?

I have sustained my share of worldly shocks. —Lord Byron

I have too. I'm sure you have as well. But can shocks be a good thing?

A friend of mine once said that she needed some "bee stings" to get moving out of the complacency her life had become. Isn't that the truth? If we are overly settled in our lives, entrenched in the ruts we've been living in for a long time, well, then, chances are reasoning (no matter how persuasive) or will power or love or whatever is not going to be able to get us moving. But bee stings will.

No one handles bee stings well. They're like, "Ho, I'm out of here!" and they're running off. There's not a lot of deliberation. You're not asking a lot of questions. ('Gee, maybe I should move away from this wasp stinging me?') You're just moving. Fast.

Nobody likes to get bee stings (actual or figurative), but I think we can all agree that they do get us moving.

Health is a good example. Sometimes it takes the shock of a bad report on a test to get us taking care of our health.

I think of shocks (figurative shocks, now) as breaking up the barrier in our mind or psyche that is keeping us stuck. And nothing else will do. Even in the physical world, think of a big slab of stone blocking something. Will chipping away at it  break it open? No. It may whittle away at the edges but it will not break it open. Only an out and out smash will do the job.

So, if you want quick change in your life don't hide from shocks.

Should we pursue shocks then?

Some people do. Lord Byron did. He lived a tumultuous life of wild risk taking (and accordingly received his share of worldly shocks).

I think, though, if you want to change badly enough you don't need to find the shocks—the shocks will find you. But you do have to be open to the shocks. And not curse whatever has brought them into your life. It might even be said that it would be best to welcome them.

And then hang on for dear life while the shocks do their job—and deliver the change you were looking for.

Yes, shocks can be a good thing. A very good thing.

Do you have the courage to be a nobody?

From Jim Perskie in the Washington Post:

I figured out early on that I wasn't cut out to be a neurosurgeon or fighter pilot. So I kinda aimed low my whole life. It worked for me. Sure, the world needs some ambitious people. But it's worth noting that ambition has given us products like New Coke, men like Donald Trump, and war after war. Ambition certainly doesn't seem to make the ambitious particularly happy. By definition, they cannot be content with who they are and what they have. And the world seems to encourage them to inflict their desire for advancement on the rest of us. So to all you ambitious folks out there: Enough. I'll gladly concede that you all 'win.' Just leave the rest of us alone.

How you doing compared with your neighbor? The people you went to high school with? How much money do you make? What kind of car do you drive? Are you famous?

Those are a lot of questions I know I've asked myself through the years (and come up on the losing end with my answers), but now I'm reconsidering even asking those questions anymore.

Does it matter how I compare with anybody else? It can, in a negative sense. I know that much. Time and time again I've made myself miserable asking them. So why do I do it?

Good question.

Which leads to another question: Can a person live without comparing himself to others?

Yes. But from my experience it's very hard to do. But oh, the results are so worth it.

Because when I don't compare myself to anybody else I am fine! Yes, fine. Just the way I am. It's a remarkable thing. My job or my car or my significant other, whatever they may be, are just dandy. It's so freeing.

Give it a try. I promise you it will feel good.