I used to live next to this great guy named Genaro. Genaro worked so hard and he loved it! He'd work all day at his factory job, and as soon as he came home, he'd be in his back yard, sawing or pounding, making something, cleaning something, always working working working! (I told him: "Genaro, your version of hell is going to be lying in an inflatable lounge chair in a pool drinking pina coladas.")
I'm a novelist. I usually have ideas lining up, just waiting to be written. Until now, that is. I haven't had a good idea for a book in months. So what did I do? I pressed. I'd bludgeon an idea up from my soul. Life was too short to wait for inspiration, and I wanted to work. I needed to work.
And what were the results of my whirlwind effort? Nothing were the results. All I did was frustrate myself. I'd racked my brain for ideas. I'd read what other writers were writing. I'd Googled it, for Pete's sake. And all I got was more nothing.
Being a hard-head I naturally decided to triple up on getting an idea. I got an idea to search for a book on my bookshelves about achievement via living consciously. For sure that held my answer! Oddly enough, instead, I came across a book I wasn't looking for. Although, in hindsight, it may have been looking for me.
It's called Beyond Failure: Discovering Grace and Hope in the Hard Times of Life by James A. Scudder. But honestly I didn't even read the title, I just randomly cracked open the book and saw that I'd underlined the following:
We have all been guilty of taking matters into our own hands when it comes to dealing with a difficult situation, thinking that if we sit back and wait on God, nothing is going to happen. (pg 25 in the paperback)
Huh. That certainly got my attention. For I was supremely guilty of what it accused. I had taken matters into my own hands in this difficult situation all right, and I was thinking that if I sat back (ugh, just the thought of sitting back, even now, makes my skin crawl) and waited on God, nothing was going to happen.
So where to go from there?
You got it. Sitting back and waiting on God. I gave it a try. The results?
I'm still not writing, so it didn't work, right? Well, in a way yes, but in a bigger way, it did work, because I'm relaxed again. I'm myself again. I'm no longer frantic.
Will I ever find an idea for my next novel? I don't know. But I had no guarantee I'd find one before, and at least this way I am living my life at peace with myself and God. And that is so much better than how I'd been living.