Thursday, May 23, 2019

Sleeping is trying to kill me

Okay, if you enjoy sleeping, this is not for you. However, if you're regularly traumatized when you sleep, read on, and I'm sure you'll be able to relate.

Sleep is so wonderfully regenerative. (Hum Brahms lullaby.)


Until...a charley horse strikes!


And in an instant you go from peace to AGONY! Okay, maybe you don't die from that, but what about sleepwalking! (I've done it.) If you live in a high-rise and the balcony is missing, well, you can figure out the rest.


Or how about sleep-talking? You talk in your sleep saying something like, "Alexa, my bank account password is XXXXXXX, please share it with the world."

 
Then you wake up and all your money's gone and you kill yourself. See.

Ever dream you were falling?


Well, doing that could give you a heart attack for sure.

And then there's dreams. Sweet dreams. Not! I had a dream I was making out with Hillary Clinton!


Okay, I admit it, it was kind of fun. (She's a good kisser.) But imagine if you were a Trump fan! Muerte! You'd have a stroke and you're gone!

Honestly, I even hurt myself yawning. I Googled to see if that was even possible, and Google said it wasn't. But that's not true!

Hopefully, sleep is a wondrous regenerative respite for you. Just have a little empathy for those of us that aren't so fortunate.







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